This is at least 14A

Edit: I may have had too much to drink and was awake alone at 1am when this was written. I had also just finished watching The Bachelorette so I was probably a drunk mess. 

This is still all very true though. Don’t disregard it.

I really do want to keep up with this blog thing. If anyone out there has actually missed my posts, I apologize. He came back. He’s home from work for a few days. Before he came home we had this big talk and I told him once again that I’m not feeling any love. I need love.. So now he’s back. He still doesn’t really touch me anymore.. He says he loves me more. He made me dinner. He even paid for dinner last night. But no touching. No up in my face love. Is that weird to want? 

I really just want him to kiss me.. Put his hand on my back.. I don’t mind initiating sex. BUT that’s only if the other party is game, I will not be doing all the work.

I want to have sex. Why do people make me feel like that’s such a bad thing? I’ve always been such a sexual person and I don’t feel like I can be that with him now. I used to. I love the feeling of his hands pushing my legs apart.. The face he makes the first time my lips start moving down from his lips.. I love how I’m not faking it when he has to start slow so I can get used to the size… It makes me crazy how much he loves when I talk dirty to him. 

I want him to fucking pull my hair and fuck me hard.

Gentlemen, why does this seem to be too much to ask? 

This got off course, I want sex. Yes. I want passionate sex and rough sex and spontaneous sex. I want it allllllll. Guess how much I have? ZERO. None. Like HELLO I shaved every hair off my body except for my head the day you came home and it was pointless….

But I also want him to hold my hand. I want him to hug me. I want him to just look at me and feel lucky. Right now I think he looks at me and feels burdened.

I want to feel butterflies when he kisses my forehead and electric when he puts his hands between my legs..

He doesn’t do either of those things, so I’m not sure if I would feel the butterflies and electricity.